What do you think dreams are? I mean the ones we have at night while we are sleeping. Are they our deeper concerns come to light? Are they random wanderings of the mind? Is it our subconscious working through things? Is it God speaking? Can it be ? My dreams have always seemed to express my fears. They are usually very stressful and I don't enjoy dreaming. Last night was different though.
Last night I dreamt that I had a little tiny baby, about the size of my palm. It's little eyes would open and close and it's little chest would move up and down with breath. I was so in love with this tiny thing. I was terrified that it would stop breathing up and down, up and down. And I knew that it was my responsibility to make sure it lived. The baby grew fast, too fast. He became as tall as a 6 year old in a few days and was very happy, but he had trouble walking and speaking and it was just obvious that something was very wrong. Justin and I prayed and realized that our desire for this child had brought him to us too early. He hadn't been ready to come to us yet and we needed to let him go back and then wait til he was ready to come back to us. I'm not making this up. I really dreamt this. It probably sounds stressful but I said that it was a different kind of dream for me this time. I felt peaceful about letting this dear sweet child go back and do what needed to be done so that he could come back to us complete and ready. I don't think I'm explaining it very well. The important thing for me was the peace that I felt in being willing to wait.
It was probably my subconscious self figuring out a way to deal with my feelings. Whatever it was - I thought it was very interesting.
I am sharing this for a couple of reasons. One is that it was about time that I shared how I was doing and I'm ok but I miss what could have been and I still feel sad sometimes. I'm also putting this out there because so many other people have had to go down this path in life. It has helped me tremendously to hear from others who know how I feel. Well, if you have struggled with infertility or early miscarriage - I know how you feel and am more than happy to talk or share. We are lucky to live in a time where it's acceptable to share our feelings. It's a powerful thing and I want to encourage it.
Last night I dreamt that I had a little tiny baby, about the size of my palm. It's little eyes would open and close and it's little chest would move up and down with breath. I was so in love with this tiny thing. I was terrified that it would stop breathing up and down, up and down. And I knew that it was my responsibility to make sure it lived. The baby grew fast, too fast. He became as tall as a 6 year old in a few days and was very happy, but he had trouble walking and speaking and it was just obvious that something was very wrong. Justin and I prayed and realized that our desire for this child had brought him to us too early. He hadn't been ready to come to us yet and we needed to let him go back and then wait til he was ready to come back to us. I'm not making this up. I really dreamt this. It probably sounds stressful but I said that it was a different kind of dream for me this time. I felt peaceful about letting this dear sweet child go back and do what needed to be done so that he could come back to us complete and ready. I don't think I'm explaining it very well. The important thing for me was the peace that I felt in being willing to wait.
It was probably my subconscious self figuring out a way to deal with my feelings. Whatever it was - I thought it was very interesting.
I am sharing this for a couple of reasons. One is that it was about time that I shared how I was doing and I'm ok but I miss what could have been and I still feel sad sometimes. I'm also putting this out there because so many other people have had to go down this path in life. It has helped me tremendously to hear from others who know how I feel. Well, if you have struggled with infertility or early miscarriage - I know how you feel and am more than happy to talk or share. We are lucky to live in a time where it's acceptable to share our feelings. It's a powerful thing and I want to encourage it.
Comments
We know God loves you and wants to lead you in this journey- is this peace-giving dream a gift, containing some answers for you....I would say yes!
jenn