Skip to main content

Dreams

What do you think dreams are? I mean the ones we have at night while we are sleeping. Are they our deeper concerns come to light? Are they random wanderings of the mind? Is it our subconscious working through things? Is it God speaking? Can it be ? My dreams have always seemed to express my fears. They are usually very stressful and I don't enjoy dreaming. Last night was different though.

Last night I dreamt that I had a little tiny baby, about the size of my palm. It's little eyes would open and close and it's little chest would move up and down with breath. I was so in love with this tiny thing. I was terrified that it would stop breathing up and down, up and down. And I knew that it was my responsibility to make sure it lived. The baby grew fast, too fast. He became as tall as a 6 year old in a few days and was very happy, but he had trouble walking and speaking and it was just obvious that something was very wrong. Justin and I prayed and realized that our desire for this child had brought him to us too early. He hadn't been ready to come to us yet and we needed to let him go back and then wait til he was ready to come back to us. I'm not making this up. I really dreamt this. It probably sounds stressful but I said that it was a different kind of dream for me this time. I felt peaceful about letting this dear sweet child go back and do what needed to be done so that he could come back to us complete and ready. I don't think I'm explaining it very well. The important thing for me was the peace that I felt in being willing to wait.
It was probably my subconscious self figuring out a way to deal with my feelings. Whatever it was - I thought it was very interesting.

I am sharing this for a couple of reasons. One is that it was about time that I shared how I was doing and I'm ok but I miss what could have been and I still feel sad sometimes. I'm also putting this out there because so many other people have had to go down this path in life. It has helped me tremendously to hear from others who know how I feel. Well, if you have struggled with infertility or early miscarriage - I know how you feel and am more than happy to talk or share. We are lucky to live in a time where it's acceptable to share our feelings. It's a powerful thing and I want to encourage it.

Comments

Laurie said…
I think it is very interesting too Jen! Thanks so much for sharing!!
Anonymous said…
Cool! I am thinking that God sure used dreams in the Bible to communicate to people....so why not you too?!? It sounds like it was a special, unusual dream for you.
We know God loves you and wants to lead you in this journey- is this peace-giving dream a gift, containing some answers for you....I would say yes!
jenn

Popular posts from this blog

They are here. They are really really here!!!

It was a cool day. Almost too cold. The kind of cold that makes you rethink your very existence.... Boy. I am waaaay to tired for that. So I will give you the un-dramatic version. So, we are getting bombarded with requests for an update and pictures. So I will oblige and provide you with all the gory details. Actually, there are no gory details. In what can only be described as an amazing answer to many prayers, the new Mooney babies were brought into this world with no problems what so ever. We entered the hospital at 10:00 in the morning and were taken to the surgery room around 12:00 noon. At exactly 12:38, the first baby, Dylan Michael was born weighing in at 6 pounds even. Then, also at 12:38, Evan Timothy also charged into the world weighing in at 5.2 pounds. Then, at 12:39 Liam David was born weighing 4.8 pounds. For those of you good at math, that is a whopping 16 pounds worth of babies. 16 POUNDS!!! And even though them just being born at 36 weeks and 5 days isn...

Did you know?

So, did you know that exercising regularly can help you have more energy!? Okay, so did I. And did you know that eating healthily also helps with that? As does going to bed at a decent time at night? I guess we all know that but I haven't been good at acting like I know that. I was getting frustrated. I was just so tired in the evenings. I wasn't having the kind of quality time with my kids or my husband that I wanted. I didn't feel like going out with friends in the evening. I was okay during the day but that's not when I am with my people, for the most part anyway. Sometimes, I would fall asleep on the couch before my kids bedtime!! If I wasn't asleep, I was lethargic and unmotivated. Just not the me that I wanted to be. It doesn't sound like much, but I just couldn't stand wanting to be intentional but not having the energy to do the things that mattered to me. And my kids are 9,9,9 and 11. That's old enough that I can't use the...

And the final answer is....

Well, thank you all for your guesses. I found them interesting. I had one person guess 4 babies. I don't let him come to our blog anymore. Well, after 5 months of waiting, we have had the ultrasound and we now know what the gender is for each of the wee little gaffers. If you want to see, click the link below. The link should open up a new window so don't be scared. Click Here To See What We Are Having Now that is done, here are my thoughts. WARNING SPOILER BELOW. I am going to hide the text so as to not give anything away to those who do not want to know. If you want to see the text, you need to highlight it. For those of you who don't know how to do this, I recommend you just turn off your computer and find another hobby. Computer's aren't for you. Click and hold Mouse button here then drag your mouse to the end of the post. Congratulations on finding the secret message. So, we found out what they are at the "OH CRAP" Clinic on Thursday. We now c...