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My Kid Pee'd On My Face

So, I know that many people have been reading this blog and seeing all the nice pictures that Jen has posted and you think to yourself, "How precious. Just a bunch of Angels. Why I could just eat them up."

And a lot of these comments are true. Maybe not the eating one cause that's sick, but my kids definitely come across as great babies. And in many many ways, they are amazing babies. We were in Estevan over the weekend and the babies were randomly disbursed throughout the crowd and we heard on more than one occasion "Do your babies ever cry?"

Well, I am here now to shed some behind the scenes action. News from "Behind the Buses" so to speak. The nitty gritty. The kind of stories the regular news channels won't cover. Life with the babies isn't all roses and potpourri parties. Well, there are a lot of different smells but not the kind you want to bottle up and sell if you get my meaning.

Below are just a couple of stories that have occurred to help make our lives interesting.

1. My Kid Pee'd On My Face

OK, I admit this one is partly my fault. I was holding Liam over the sink to wash off a particularly nasty deposit he made into his diaper account and I was taking a bit too long. Mind you, about 10 seconds of air time is a bit too long with this one. So his mini water gun was pointing straight up. I recognized the danger I was in immediately but thought if I could just go fast enough, I could beat the speeding train. So I was right at the end of it when my Spidey sense started tingling. I look down just in time to see a stream of water coming straight at my face. It also took me a split second to realize I was staring down at it with my mouth open. Thankfully, I managed to close my mouth and move my head just enough to get a splashing right on my chin and all over the front of my shirt. You never forget the first time your kid pee's on your face. And I don't plan on ever letting him forget it either. I plan to pull that one out when we are sitting at the dinner table when Liam starts to bring girls home.

2. Projectile Poop

A lot of people don't realize this but kids can expel poop faster than a water hose fighting a chemical fire. And a lot of times, it can be just as scary. Our babies will try to lull you into complacency by depositing just enough to get you to remove the diaper and begin the changing. All the while, the real storm is brewing below. We have learned to anticipate this little bit of misdirection and we now wait until the child has given up his attempt to spray poop everywhere and just finish filling his diaper before we begin to change them. But this wasn't always the case. I believe it was Evan this time. I was feeding him and I felt the first minor explosion. By the look on his face and the force of the blast, I was sure he was done. So I took him over to the change table and began the clean up process. The old diaper was removed and the new one was just being moved into position when I could see that he had a bit more left. So I casually put the new diaper under his butt to catch it when out of nowhere, a violent erruption occurred. It was like nothing I have ever seen. It came shooting out like a garden hose with half of the opening covered. Like a power washer. Luckily, the new diaper was acting as a blast shield about 6 inches away from the exposion area. The poop flew about 6 inches straight across and struck the diapler. It then bounced back and ended up getting all over the change table and his outfit. We consider ourselves lucky. I believe, if the diaper hadn't been there, that poop might have struck Jen on the couch. And I had also learned from my previous experience and I didn't take him to the sink to clean off. I used the wipes instead.

3. Multi-Tasking

Now, I am a guy and I am not a great multi-tasker. Just ask my wife. So I was pretty pleased with myself when I was downstairs doing Laundry and I had both the washing machine and the dryer going at the same time. AT THE SAME TIME!!! That is about as multi tasking as I get. So I went upstairs to tell Jenny about my great accomplishment so she can lavish praise on me and tell me what a good boy I am. But when I get upstairs, I see Jenny sitting in the hallway. And without a word of a lie, she has one baby in her arms that she is feeding, another baby on the floor beside her being fed by propping up the bottle with her feet, she is watching Caden in the bath tub and on top of it all, she is using her other hand to throw the dog toy for our dog Bailey. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? So, suffice it to say, I never told her about my big accomplishment. Somehow, I didn't think I would get the reaction I was looking for.

That is just a sampling of the fun times we have around our house. Sure things get busy and our days run into our nights. We average about 5 hours of sleep a night but you know what, I truely cherish every little minute of it. I love it when I get to feed them and change them and when they fall asleep on my chest. I can't stop kissing their little noses and playing with their hands and feet. They are just on the verge of being more interactive. Of smiling and making faces and when that happens, I am sunk. I already can't imaging my life without them but when they are smiling at me and giggling with me, my life will be forfeit. Everything I have is for my boys. And I don't want it any other way.

From...

Man With Triplets

Comments

hahaha, I laughed out loud at this one. Only cause...I know Steve knows all about it.

Aisling
Brandi said…
even though most women will always be better at multi-tasking than most men, good for you Justin for having two appliances running at the same time :)
Anonymous said…
I am crying laughing. I made Noel stop what he was doing and listen. I can't wait to see you guys!
Amy

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